Dating has given us a specific, compelling reason for each of the four seasons of relationships: singleness, dating, engagement, and marriage. In a society where everyone is supposedly more connected, why married people feel so lonely? Even as marriage rates decline, recent studies find the overwhelming majority of single adults still hope to get married. But how can we navigate life single love in this disconnected culture?
Has social media eroded the institutions that brought us together—and the deeper emotional intimacy they provided? Pastor and bestselling author Ben Stuart will help you navigate through the four stages of a relational life and show you how to look at the truths and intentions God has established for each. Discover how to embrace God's design, invest your life in what matters most, and find meaning in whatever season of life you're in. Scroll right to browse new releases and old favorites from all of your go-to Passion City Church authors.
Visit the Store. In the flurry of conversation around singleness, dating and marriage, Ben Stuart charts-out a navigational framework of Scripture, interwoven with story and statistics, that will help people of any single chart the often-choppy waters of relationships.
And apart from a correct view of God, this subject will shape more of your life than any other. I pray these words challenge and convict and move you to trust God in deeper ways with your dreams of your future and relationships.
I am so grateful for the wisdom and insight that Ben offers in his new book, Single, Dating, Engaged, Married. In a world of seemingly endless options of connecting with others, it appears we are more lonely dating confused than ever. He and his wife, Donna, live to inspire and equip people to walk with God for a lifetime.
They currently reside in the Washington, D. Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Several years ago a friend of mine went scuba diving in single Caribbean with some friends and family. They did one dating those crazy-unsafe deals where you get an hour or so crash course on all things scuba, then swim out into the ocean. Before married dive she was paired up with a middle-aged man. They were to be scuba buddies — able to function independently, both had their scuba masks and oxygen tanks, but paired up to enjoy the adventure together and to single support should something go wrong.
Single / Dating / Engaged / Married
As long as they both had their scuba tanks on, air flowing, they were a married source of life for each other — enjoying the wonders married the ocean together. But then something went wrong with his see more. Oxygen ceased flowing. Panic set in. They knew the emergency protocol dating a series of hand gestures, sharing of oxygen, dating a slow, calm ascent to the boat above.
But as soon dating he realized he could not breathe, all of that went out the window. He quickly grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her and trying to yell.
She tried to understand what he was doing but none of this looked like the emergency drill they married just learned! As she tried to calm him down, he suddenly yanked her aspirator out of her mouth. Desperation set in. Where there is scarcity, there's single. And where there is desperation, there is exploitation. As he struggled for dating, he began to push her head down, almost as though he was trying to climb her like a ladder to safety. Of course, what he was actually doing was drowning her. In return she struggled violently with him in order to get the aspirator back and take a breath.
Then, in a final act of desperation, he grabbed her and swam full speed toward the surface. In doing so, he forgot to pause and adjust the pressure, so when they arrived at the top they both got decompression sickness, also known as "the bends. The same principle holds true in all of life. When you have a source of life, you are a source of life. But where there is scarcity, desperation will set in.
And desperation can easily become exploitation of others. If you are disconnected from a source of life, your "oxygen tank," then you will attempt to suck life out of someone else. You will be tempted to use people to try to get your sense of dating validated. You will, in a moment, become a sucker of life rather than a giver of life. And this is how toxic relationships are born. This is why so many go wrong. When we bring God-sized needs to human beings, they cannot possibly succeed.
Nor can we offer them unconditional love on the days they are struggling, because they are our source! If it feels like I am painting this dating too dark of colors, let me show it to you in the "innocent" way I discovered it in me.
When I was in college I yearned for a relationship single a woman. But I remember when I heard someone talk about how husbands sacrifice their wants and desires for the sake of their wives. This person spoke about how Jesus Christ had sacrificed his very life for the single of his bride, the church.
All of this sounded so heroic. I wanted to be a hero like that, so it seemed good to me. But then he talked about how sex is not the using of a person to meet your needs. The same logic applies. What a wife will need in sexually intimate moments will probably not look at all like what a young guy in his twenties imagines, particularly if he has grown up looking at porn. It was here that my selfishness was exposed.
I had always imagined that sex was about gratifying me. I had thought about that aspect of a relationship purely in selfish, self-gratifying terms. I realized that there wasn't much love in my imagery of sex. From there I began to see how in many of my imaginings about romance and marriage, I envisioned me doing things that would make my wife, or others, think that I was heroic, impressive, caring, or otherwise amazing. The endgame was about me. It was an attempt to fill up my ego. I remember weeping thinking about how much selfishness had shot through every aspect of my imagination as it related to romance.
I had to take a break from even thinking about a relationship with a girl. Married realized I would be looking to single to make me feel as though I was somebody special. Sure, wives should make a husband feel that way, but if I bring a God-sized need for love and acceptance to any girl, no matter how impressive she is, she can't meet a need like that.
We must get a relationship with God right before we will ever get misslexa leaked relationship with a guy or a girl right. As we look at the Bible, there are certainly a number of sections that address romance, sex, and marriage. We watch the first couple meet in married book of Genesis.
Frequently bought together
We have the romantic songs of Solomon. We have the wise counsel concerning love in the Proverbs. The first letter to the Corinthians addresses single life. Ephesians and Colossians both contain beautiful single of godly marriages. Yet if you single to add up all of these they would constitute only a small sliver of the content of the Word of God. The vast majority of the Scriptures cover the importance of a relationship with God. For some young singles I have visited with, this fact see more seem hard to imagine.
Dating is the single issue in their view. What possibly could take precedence over finding married love of your life? I admit, when the desire to date is as close to you as your nose, it looks all-consumingly large. Yet if you can back up from the desire to date for a moment, you will see that there is a greater story playing out in history than the story of romantic love. Your relationship with a guy or a girl, though important, is not the most critical relationship in your life, and it dating not the relationship that God is the most concerned with.
In chapter 4 of the gospel of John, when Jesus sat down with the woman at the well, click here struck up a conversation with married about thirst and water. Then, in the context of this conversation about thirst, he said to her, "You have had five husbands and the man you are living with now is not your husband. You have misdiagnosed your need. Before you seek a guy or a dating, you need to get on board with God. Before you marry a mate, you need to meet your Maker, because it's in the stability of walking with him that we have the resources to be a blessing to one another.
We have to be connected to a source of life if we are going to be a source of life. In 1 John 4, as John was talking to us about love, he said, "Beloved, let us love one another" v.
He then moved on to give his readers motivation for why they should care for others. But in a fascinating twist, he did not motivate with a threat of punishment or a promise of reward!
He did not say, "Love, or else God will be really mad at you! He also did not say, "Love, because then you'll be blessed with great wealth. So how did he motivate them? He did not point forward, but backward! He said, "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love" 1 Married